Okay I know I'm a lil late with this but...

I just wanted to talk a lil about the death of my husband/babydaddy...Michael Jackson...



*Sniffs loudly*

Realtalk. Michael Jackson was an absolutely legend & there will never EVER be another like him. I grew up listening to him, some of my earliest memories are of me & my older cousin Alice dancing to his records on the record player [ dun know about record players, 80's/90's ! ]. He had some absolutely amazing music, he was unique & entertained like NO other...he truely was a living legend & his music was a big part of me growin up...infact I remember in Primary school tellin someone that I fancied him bravz, I weren't messin' around at ALL.
I'm not really sure about this lil article that's goin around that the jam fool that said Michael Jackson touched him has come clean...whether or not it's legit I hope all those who pointed fingers & chatted shit are all ashamed of themselves...he may have been a lil deluded & what not but to call him a paedophile is hop skippin & jumpin a bit too far over the line.
I know some people who have cried buckets over his death but at the same time a lot of people have no respect about him dying which I think is sick, dispite their opinions of him as a man, as an artist or whatever there should be at least respect enough for the man & those who actually DO like him to keep their fag-like comments to themselves [ Fag-like meaning F.A.G which means Foolish,Aggravating & Gassed. ].
His death has been something that has touched the entire nation & they've been flooding music channels & radio stations with his music, I have a feeling the media are gonna milk this thing dry but as for me myself & I...I just think he'll live on through his music & that's how it should stay.
I feel it so hard for his family & I pray God just be with them through these trying times.

Besos xoxo

Tip of the iceburg.

Hola all, just a quick one before I go to bed.

Just wanted to state how I'm proud of myself cause I've upgraded :o) I woke up not feelin it this morning but that quickly changed, as in I'm in such awe of God right now, I can't even begin to list the things he's done for me in the last 2-3 weeks alone right now cuz I'm about to go to bed...but remembering this alone managed to take me out of my bad mood n into a mood that was more...managable. Greatfulness really is it's own blessing in disguise.
So... I've got a really busy week this week, have no idea where I'm gonna start with the amount of things I have to do but I'm lookin forward to it all, hopefully some good things are gonna come out of all of it before I reach my lil "hurdles". I'm still on the lookout for some poetry/open mic nights that I can hit to get inspiration & meet new faces...but really just to enjoy myself and be in that kinda nice atmosphere.
My vocal lessons are comin along great, but I'm nowhere near as confident as I need to be to get out there. Hope - vocal teacher, is pushing me & makes the lessons really difficult, but they're all worth it...hopefully soon I'll be able to get out there anyway.
I just got off the phone to my girl Cindy [ I'm sure you all know her, but just incase you don't this is her ]



You can't see her v.well...but this image was at the ready already...

But yeah, this convo made me actually realise that I am kinda a handful lol...a big handful...I think it's cause we're like family she see's that side of me, she's more like a sister than anything so shes seen me at my worst, my best & my wierdest, which is rare, but I'm really thankful for it.

I'm loud, I'm childish but in a way that's like...childlike charm/baby personality NOT immaturity like some jam fools in the past have called it, I eat way too much junk food which stops others around me from eating healthy cause I force them to eat it with me, my mood swings are unimaginable, I cry at moments I'm not supposed to, I do things I know which aren't good for me i.e drink fizzy drinks when I know it's gonna give me a tummy ache, I'm never fully satisfied but I'm also satisfied all the time, I don't eat barely anything but I eat EVERYTHING, I want everything & nothing out of life, I dream big but think small, I can never properly make my mind up when it comes to myself, when giving advice I talk like I know everything in the whole wide world but when it comes to me I draw up blank, I'm someone that's a pleasure & a curse to know...I dig my heels in deep you see :o), I don't "hook up" or "link" just for the sake of it...nothing will ever happen unless I know something is headed somewhere & I'm always gonna love myself & God first before another, I like cartoons, I hate tea or coffee but love mocha's & latte's [ cold only please gracias ] I wont eat cheese unless it's melted, I can buss jokes by my DAMN self, I'm not perfect, God chose to make me a human being & with that comes flaws & imperfections...but overall I'm me..take it or leave it.



Moi in a nutshell. Just felt like sharing, since there was no proper introduction :o)

@_@

Besos xoxo

I miss the promise of yesterday.

It's hot.

Really really hot.

& some spider just tried to crawl on my toes...not on.

This isn't the first blog I've had...I've had what ? 4 in the past ? All chattin the same amount of rubbish so this one will be different...I hope.

I just wrote what was probably the longest email in my life...it got me to thinking about a lot, remembering a lot of things I really should've forgotten, n things it doesn't nor will it ever help me to remember..but because I'm an idiot I remember anyway.
My emotional balance is all over the place at this point in time...I care about things I really shouldn't and the things I should care about I've put in the corner like stale cookies...but I'll tip back the emotional scale, I'm just giving myself a couple days cause in my opinion you need to allow yourself to feel ALL your hurts & pains before you can fully heal.
But.
Dispite all this I stay grateful, which is something I'm ever happy God has given me the grace to FINALLY be able to do.
I look back upon myself n my life & I think..."I can walk, I can talk, I can see, I can hear, I live in a house, I have great family, I have amazing friends ALSO in the form of family & much more to soon come, I have shoes on my feet and clothes on my back, I have a bed to sleep on and I can breathe...I aint got problems" & it's books like "A piece of cake" by Cupcake Brown which make me realise just how true this statement really is.
Sure, everyone has their cross to carry [believe me, I know that] & everyone has their burdens but being able to take your eyes off your problems & exercise gratefulness...makes you really realize that you're more blessed than you think.
Despite this being said, I have my hurts, I have my doubts about life & I often question what's ahead for me considering what's already happened...I have my days because I'm a human being, but I'm trying to look at the bigger picture.

Like I've often said...I love tomorrow.

xoxo